Is Divorce Scriptural?
Deuteronomy 24:1 - When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
My wife said that God has given her instructions to divorce me. She also said that she desires to make her marriage work. I'm confused! I thought God hates divorce and why would God be punishing me by taking my wife away?
I once saw this booklet titled "Everything Man Has Learned about Women". The funny thing is that it is blank inside!
Seriously, here is what the bible says about women:
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (I Peter 3:7)
Notice that your wife is a weaker vessel. Now that doesn’t mean you should go home and tell you wife she is weak. But, when you talk to her and minister to her you need to keep in mind that she is not emotionally or physically as strong as a man. She can’t take what you can!
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1Ti 2:14)
A woman will be more likely to be deceived by the devil than a man. Eve was deceived by the serpent in Genesis 3 and not Adam. Your wife could be fooled by the devil into thinking that divorce is the right thing to do, even when the bible says it is not.
Ok, let’s see what the bible says about divorce:
Are you a born again Christian? If not… read this and get saved!
If you wife is not a born again Christian and you are:
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (1Co 7:15)
In this case you should try to win you wife to the Lord but if you can’t and she won’t stay with you there is nothing you can do.
If you and your wife are both born again:
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mat 19:4-6)
And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mar 10:3-12)
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (Mat 5:32)
Jesus Christ taught that a husband and wife should never be divorced and it was only allowed because of the hardness of man’s heart. God made marriage a permanent unity.
There are three reasons biblical for a “divorce”
1. Death (1 Co 7:39)
2. Adultery (Mat 5:32)
3. Abandonment (1Co 7:15)
Now for the husband:
Since I don’t know you, I will just be as candid as I can be.
First, are you a husband worth being married to?
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Do you love you wife? Do you tell her? Do you wash her in God’s word? Do you teach her out of the bible? Do you pray with her? Do you pray for her? Do you love her as you own body? Do you spend money on her instead of you? Do you nourish her? Do you cherish her? Have you told mamma and daddy goodbye and cut the apron string? Do you live like you are one flesh? Do you love her like you love yourself? Do you look at other women?
Also, are you harboring bitterness towards your wife?
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. (Col 3:19)
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Heb 12:15)
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1Peter 3:7)
Are you going to fight for your marriage?
Read Ephesians 6:10-18
You battle is not against your wife. She is not the enemy. Read Ephesians six to see where your battle is. If you want to save your marriage you are going to have to fight the fight of your life to do it. You will need to fight the spiritual fight with spiritual armor and a spiritual weapon “…which is the word of God:”
If you want biblical counseling or prayer I can ask two good married pastors I know to call you…just respond to this post indicating that is your desire.
Quoting your post:
“…also said that she desires to make her marriage work.”
One of the best pastors I know says something like this:
“If both parties want a marriage to work it will and if one doesn’t, it won’t.”
Fight the good fight of faith… (1Ti 6:12)
Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:1-2)
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. (Gal 6:7-9)
Some people do think they are hearing from the Holy Spirit, but cannot discern the voice of the enemy. The Bible tells us that devils also come off as angels of light. God tells us that if a person become saved and is married to an unsaved person, not to divorce the unsaved person, rather stay and be a light to the unsaved husband/wife. However, if the unsaved husband/wife desires a divorce, then a divorce may happen. Reference: 1 Corinthians 7:13-15. God does not desire divorce. He gives us the ministry of reconciliation (which is an antonym/opposite word for divorce). It reminds me of Matthew 18:15-17. It describes the efforts of making peaceful reconciliation.
A relationship is a bond that must exist between both people, if one person does not desire the bond, then the bond is broken and a relationship does not exist. There are many people who know of Jesus, but do not have a personal relationship with Him. Jesus said many will come to Him and say Lord, Lord and He will tell them to depart from Him, that He never knew them. Reconciliation with God is only possible through accepting Jesus Christ, who is God in human flesh. Jesus says He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life - there is no way to the Father, except through Him. Jesus is fully God and fully man. The Spirit which dwells in Him, is fully God (the Holy Spirit - God the Father). Jesus said if you have seen Me, then you have seen the Father, I and the Father are One.